Pro-Ject # One Hundred: Vaffanculo, LG

Watch the video before you read the below:

 

So here was LG’s response to my letter and philm:

And here was my final reply, which I sent to Stacey via email:

Stacey,

Good morning. My name is Live432 and I am the head of the Vaffanculo, LG Electronics team, responding on behalf of everyone that’s ever been screwed over by your junky corporation.

Now while the fact that you personalized your email was quite an amazing feat in and of itself, I found the actual content of your message to be a big bucket of dog piddle. What do you want to talk to me about? What more can I tell you? Troubleshoot the problem internally? Save me the petty, technical jargon. Pull my file. Read it. Listen to my two phone calls to your customer service department. Think about the situation. Watch the philm. Read the complaint letter. Then spend all of 2 seconds coming to the conclusion that if one of your products breaks down after 5 months of use, it’s LG’s fault, not mine. You are the Manager of the LG Electronics Customer Service Executive Services team. Show us all why you deserve such an elite title.

It’s pretty simple to understand, really. Even your competitor gets it, as seen in their response to my email. And I quote “Seems you had a really unfortunate experience. We’re a different type of company. We only make air conditioners. We are not a global giant, we are based in Texas. We’re small and we care so we will send you a 12,000 Btu dual hose (for 40% faster cooling) portable air conditioner for free….”

Funny, ain’t it? A big ole South Korean electronics company and a small lil company based out of Texas. They saw the same philm you apparently saw. They read the same letter you apparently read. They know what you apparently know: that I ended up purchasing a competitor air conditioner to replace your defective piece of plastic. Yet the small company offered me a free air conditioner. And they weren’t even involved.

What did you offer me? That’s right: you offered me the opportunity to talk to you about my specific issue so you could troubleshoot the problem internally? Oh goodie. Just what I want to do. Tell you everything you should already know.

I shouldn’t be surprised, however, as it’s obvious that Geppetto is hard at work offscreen.  

9-5 you may be LG’s puppet, but sans the strings, I know you would be standing right behind me.

But you’re not. So we’re breaking up, Stacey. For good. And since you’re speaking on behalf of a large collection of LG employees, please emphatically pass on my original message to them. It remains the same:

Vaffanculo, LG

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